This a continuation of this article.
On the night of 7/5/16 I was watching Netflix and finishing my dinner. I washed my dishes sat down and opened Twitter. All I saw was #AltonSterling, the words black man, justice, and RIP. I knew what was up even before I read anything else. All I said was "when is this shit going to stop?"!
Alton was shot six times while pinned down by two officers and being tasered. The footage was caught from two angles. One initially by people in a nearby car which they had to duck down while the shots were fired and the actual shooting is heard not seen. Then in the morning other footage taken by the shop owner showed Alton being shot and even more gruesomely having a pool of his blood oozing out of him and splattered on the bumper of the car next to him.
Then his family read a statement concerning his death and calling for justice. In that video you see his 15 year old son uncontrollably crying and saying "I want my daddy!". Many people blame the problems of blacks on the lack of two parent homes in our culture yet here is video of a young man who is now forced to be the man of the house in a single parent home because of the lack of restraint by two cowardly officers of the law.
Then I am laying down to go to sleep and I scroll through Twitter to wind down and then what do I see? A video of a woman next to a man severely wounded in a car while a gun his being held on him by a police officer. This man's name was Philando Castille.
His girlfriend used Facebook's live feature to show the situation as it happened in order dissuade any erroneous description of the event.
Castille was asked to produce his driver's license to the officer. He was carrying a firearm as is his constitutional 2nd Amendment right, as many gun rights activists would decry (except of course when in comes to those Americans of color).
He had told the the officers that he did have a gun, legally, on his person and that he was going to get his license. The officer responded by opening fire on Castille while his girlfriend and 4 year old daughter were in the car. Instead of seeking medical attention the officers held his gun on Castille who at that point was dying, removed the child from the car and had the woman handcuffed and detained as Philando breathe his final breaths.
Many want to resolve that there is a war on cops. Are the bad cops? Yes. Are they all bad? No. But that is hard to decipher when incidents like this are happening and not enough police are coming out to admonish this disgusting behavior.
If someone at your job was going out of their way to do a poor job thus making your job that much harder would you not call them out on their lack of responsibility?
I work at a coffee shop. The other day a coworker of mine whom I hold as dear friend and have tremendous respect for had gotten loud and berated a regular customer, whose wife was also a regular. I had to confront my friend and told her what she did was not cool and it makes us look bad that we cannot hold our composure.
If I can do that from barista to barista why can a cop not come out and voice their displeasure in those officers action? Being a cop as any other job is a thankless job. You get more attention for doing bad than good, that attention is of course negative.
When we start to value the lives of everyone and get better policing it might not end all our troubles but is definitely a step in the right direction.
Thursday, July 7, 2016
The Disrespect of Dwyane
In May of 2003, many the NBA's lackluster teams had brought with them high hopes of securing the number one overall pick in that year's draft. A pick that could only become Lebron James, arguably the best player of his era, yet outside of the first 6 picks the consolation prizes weren't half as bad as they were in other years.
The ping pong balls were bounced and so it came. Cleveland won and gained the greatest player in they would ever have . Detroit whiffed on a foreign unknown. Denver got a National Champion and significant scorers. Toronto gained a talented big man from Texas. And then there was Miami.
Pat Riley had won titles with the Lakers and removed the Knicks from obscurity. He joined the Heat as team president and coach in 1996. They were at the top of the Eastern Conference from then until 2001 when franchise player Alonzo Mourning came down with kidney ailments. They faced two seasons in the bottom of the east. Then on draft night they acquired the most iconic player in their history, Marquette guard Dwyane Wade.
In his rookie year the Heat improved by 17 wins and gained a playoff spot. The next year they traded for Shaquille O'Neal and lost in the Eastern Conference Finals to the Detroit Pistons.
The next year they won their first NBA title and Dwyane Wade put on one of the greatest NBA Finals performances in history whilst capturing NBA Finals MVP.
At no point during Wade's Heat tenure has he been the highest paid member of the team. Even the lean years between the 2006 title and the arrival of Lebron James and Chris Bosh due to the team acquiring expiring contracts of lapsed superstars such as Jermaine O'neil and Shawn Marion.
Wade held his resolve for the good of the franchise under the belief that one day he would be repaid for all he has done.
Through these last two years we have seen that unless Wade was going to get paid an extraordinary amount to become and maybe 50% stake of the franchise, I mean after all Dwyane Wade is about 75% of the Miami Heat as a franchise's history.
People say Wade would tie the franchise up financially like Kobe Bryant had the Lakers had in his last years, keep in mind Kobe had won 5 titles with them and was a franchise icon at the time. Bryant also didn't force the team to trade prospects such as De'Angelo Russell, Julius Randle, and Jordan Clarkson for superstars thus leaving them with nothing after his retirement, which I suspect Wade would also do for the Heat.
Since James left the team in 2014, Wade has played on 1 year contracts. He did this not to give himself an exit strategy as some have accused him of. This was to give Pat Riley and the Heat flexibility to compete on the court and during free agency.
At the ages of 32, 33, and 34 with a bit of an injury history it is quite risky to gamble with your financial security. But he did that for the team he had thought was a family.
It was Wade's right to make sure he was compensated adequately and after a few moves he finally was, by his hometown Chicago Bulls.
I'm sure Riley and Heat owner Mickey Arison will send well wishes and as soon as Wade retires they will hang his #3 in the American Airlines Arena and embrace him as the cornerstone of their franchise, but will regret not doing it during his 13 years there.
The ping pong balls were bounced and so it came. Cleveland won and gained the greatest player in they would ever have . Detroit whiffed on a foreign unknown. Denver got a National Champion and significant scorers. Toronto gained a talented big man from Texas. And then there was Miami.
Pat Riley had won titles with the Lakers and removed the Knicks from obscurity. He joined the Heat as team president and coach in 1996. They were at the top of the Eastern Conference from then until 2001 when franchise player Alonzo Mourning came down with kidney ailments. They faced two seasons in the bottom of the east. Then on draft night they acquired the most iconic player in their history, Marquette guard Dwyane Wade.
In his rookie year the Heat improved by 17 wins and gained a playoff spot. The next year they traded for Shaquille O'Neal and lost in the Eastern Conference Finals to the Detroit Pistons.
The next year they won their first NBA title and Dwyane Wade put on one of the greatest NBA Finals performances in history whilst capturing NBA Finals MVP.
At no point during Wade's Heat tenure has he been the highest paid member of the team. Even the lean years between the 2006 title and the arrival of Lebron James and Chris Bosh due to the team acquiring expiring contracts of lapsed superstars such as Jermaine O'neil and Shawn Marion.
Wade held his resolve for the good of the franchise under the belief that one day he would be repaid for all he has done.
Through these last two years we have seen that unless Wade was going to get paid an extraordinary amount to become and maybe 50% stake of the franchise, I mean after all Dwyane Wade is about 75% of the Miami Heat as a franchise's history.
People say Wade would tie the franchise up financially like Kobe Bryant had the Lakers had in his last years, keep in mind Kobe had won 5 titles with them and was a franchise icon at the time. Bryant also didn't force the team to trade prospects such as De'Angelo Russell, Julius Randle, and Jordan Clarkson for superstars thus leaving them with nothing after his retirement, which I suspect Wade would also do for the Heat.
Since James left the team in 2014, Wade has played on 1 year contracts. He did this not to give himself an exit strategy as some have accused him of. This was to give Pat Riley and the Heat flexibility to compete on the court and during free agency.
At the ages of 32, 33, and 34 with a bit of an injury history it is quite risky to gamble with your financial security. But he did that for the team he had thought was a family.
It was Wade's right to make sure he was compensated adequately and after a few moves he finally was, by his hometown Chicago Bulls.
I'm sure Riley and Heat owner Mickey Arison will send well wishes and as soon as Wade retires they will hang his #3 in the American Airlines Arena and embrace him as the cornerstone of their franchise, but will regret not doing it during his 13 years there.
Saturday, March 26, 2016
Batman V Superman: "It Insists Upon Itself"
In describing his apathy for Francis Ford Copola's The Godfather, Peter Griffin in an episode of Family Guy say the film insists upon itself. This line perfectly describes my feeling towards the sequel of 2013's Man of Steel.
I saw Batman V Superman on Thursday night needless to say as many others, I was underwhelmed. The film begins with the killing of the Waynes which we saw 11 years ago in Batman Begins. This scene carried as much weight in the film as facts would in an argument with an imbecile. I bring this scene up because Christopher Nolan, producer of Batman V Superman, made that scene have impact in three films over 7 years whereas Zack Snyder couldn't make the same scene impact a film in almost 3 hours.
Much of the meat of the film seems long and drawn out. It spends too much time trying to make us care about a lot of things we don't care about such as; Lex Luthor's fascination over stopping Superman, Diana Prince showing up at random and ill-conceived moments, Lois Lane being a cartooned damsel, and the glutinous politics.
The crazy thing about this film is not the actors being bad in the roles, but the material they are given. Ben Affleck played a pretty good Batman, Jeremy Irons was quite underrated (and underused) as Alfred Pennyworth, Jesse Eisenberg was given Play-Doh in order to make Venus De Milo as far as his motivation as Lex Luthor. Kevin Costner was great in his small cameo and Diane Lane actually made you give a damn about the movie at certain points as Martha Kent.
This film suffers the fatality of doing too much that it doesn't build any connection with character and plot.
Lex Luthor was a poor excuse for the Joker instead of maniacal businessman or intelligent sociopath. Superman was an action figure yet again. In Man of Steel there was a final scene where Clark Kent was introduced to Lois Lane, I had thought this would introduce us to the man Kal-El pretends to be on a daily basis. The lovable bumbling geek that Christopher Reeve owned. Did he show up in this film? No. Because the film insists that it be about two superheroes having a disagreement.
Clark in this film is headstrong and has a grudge against a man in another city handling crime in ways that are different than his. This does a disservice to Henry Cavill because he never gets to actually act as the human disguise of the superhero thus driving home the theme of him clearly being an outsider.
Batman looks like he has been through a lot but how would the audience know? Throwaway lines about guys dressed like clowns? A Robin suit with a message spray painted on it? I guess so.
The set up for the Justice League lacked intrigue. They showed glimpses of Cyborg, Aquaman, and the Flash. They even showed one big glimpse of Wonder Woman because she seemed a little more of an extra than the female super-heroine.
I have tried hard to stay away from comparing this film to any of the Marvel films because I believe DC and Warner Bros should not copy Marvel's formula but conceive their own. Their Pepsi to Marvel's Coke. The DC model is rather shaping up right now to be store brand cola.
I have seen all but one Marvel film in the theater, that being Thor: Dark World. In my experience the theater was always packed and throughout the film the audience became invested. They cheered, applauded, and laughed. There was little to none of that in this film. It barely got you hooked in. At times it felt like when a friend is telling you a story and you are trying your damnedest to pay attention that by the time it gets to the payoff you can only give a morbid forced reaction.
I believe that the planning of this film was as contrived as it was for Green Latern and Superman Returns. Superman the Movie was Hollywood's first gamble with the superhero film and it paid off along with it's sequel but from then on Superman has not brought in the kind of money other titles in the genre has. DC and Warner have been trying to figure out why it is the character of which the term superhero was created has been outdrawn by other lesser known entities. The only character that has continually grossed for them has been the Dark Knight.
So simply, it must have been thought the only way to make Superman popular again was to place him alongside the much popular Batman. Which sounded nice at first, then you notice the Bat symbol looked quite different from those of the Dark Knight series. Leading to the news that a new Batman would be cast. The reasoning was that Superman could not exist in Nolan's universe.
But, wouldn't that have made for an interesting film? This Superman would literally and figuratively be an alien in the Dark Knight universe. The whole controversy of Man of Steel was that Superman like Batman does not kill. This point was evident in the Nolan films and would have benefitted the plot of this film rather than the whole "can we trust this alien to continue doing good" arc from the first film.
Another possibility in the case of creating a new Batman is to have delayed this film and make a solo Batman film to create familiarity for a team up film later on. Imagine how weak the Avengers would be if they had dug up Captain America out of ice midway through Iron Man 2.
This film was not Fantastic Four, in that it was bad enough to kill any future plans for a shared universe but it packed a very small punch thus creating little to no momentum for the future films in the DC Universe. With that being said they may make a great Wonder Woman film and restore or gain some enthusiasm for the Justice League film.
For now we can only hope that the second film that showcases a superhero beef this year (with characters that actually have history on the screen) Captain America: Civil War justifies the excitement for it.
I saw Batman V Superman on Thursday night needless to say as many others, I was underwhelmed. The film begins with the killing of the Waynes which we saw 11 years ago in Batman Begins. This scene carried as much weight in the film as facts would in an argument with an imbecile. I bring this scene up because Christopher Nolan, producer of Batman V Superman, made that scene have impact in three films over 7 years whereas Zack Snyder couldn't make the same scene impact a film in almost 3 hours.
Much of the meat of the film seems long and drawn out. It spends too much time trying to make us care about a lot of things we don't care about such as; Lex Luthor's fascination over stopping Superman, Diana Prince showing up at random and ill-conceived moments, Lois Lane being a cartooned damsel, and the glutinous politics.
The crazy thing about this film is not the actors being bad in the roles, but the material they are given. Ben Affleck played a pretty good Batman, Jeremy Irons was quite underrated (and underused) as Alfred Pennyworth, Jesse Eisenberg was given Play-Doh in order to make Venus De Milo as far as his motivation as Lex Luthor. Kevin Costner was great in his small cameo and Diane Lane actually made you give a damn about the movie at certain points as Martha Kent.
This film suffers the fatality of doing too much that it doesn't build any connection with character and plot.
Lex Luthor was a poor excuse for the Joker instead of maniacal businessman or intelligent sociopath. Superman was an action figure yet again. In Man of Steel there was a final scene where Clark Kent was introduced to Lois Lane, I had thought this would introduce us to the man Kal-El pretends to be on a daily basis. The lovable bumbling geek that Christopher Reeve owned. Did he show up in this film? No. Because the film insists that it be about two superheroes having a disagreement.
Clark in this film is headstrong and has a grudge against a man in another city handling crime in ways that are different than his. This does a disservice to Henry Cavill because he never gets to actually act as the human disguise of the superhero thus driving home the theme of him clearly being an outsider.
Batman looks like he has been through a lot but how would the audience know? Throwaway lines about guys dressed like clowns? A Robin suit with a message spray painted on it? I guess so.
The set up for the Justice League lacked intrigue. They showed glimpses of Cyborg, Aquaman, and the Flash. They even showed one big glimpse of Wonder Woman because she seemed a little more of an extra than the female super-heroine.
I have tried hard to stay away from comparing this film to any of the Marvel films because I believe DC and Warner Bros should not copy Marvel's formula but conceive their own. Their Pepsi to Marvel's Coke. The DC model is rather shaping up right now to be store brand cola.
I have seen all but one Marvel film in the theater, that being Thor: Dark World. In my experience the theater was always packed and throughout the film the audience became invested. They cheered, applauded, and laughed. There was little to none of that in this film. It barely got you hooked in. At times it felt like when a friend is telling you a story and you are trying your damnedest to pay attention that by the time it gets to the payoff you can only give a morbid forced reaction.
I believe that the planning of this film was as contrived as it was for Green Latern and Superman Returns. Superman the Movie was Hollywood's first gamble with the superhero film and it paid off along with it's sequel but from then on Superman has not brought in the kind of money other titles in the genre has. DC and Warner have been trying to figure out why it is the character of which the term superhero was created has been outdrawn by other lesser known entities. The only character that has continually grossed for them has been the Dark Knight.
So simply, it must have been thought the only way to make Superman popular again was to place him alongside the much popular Batman. Which sounded nice at first, then you notice the Bat symbol looked quite different from those of the Dark Knight series. Leading to the news that a new Batman would be cast. The reasoning was that Superman could not exist in Nolan's universe.
But, wouldn't that have made for an interesting film? This Superman would literally and figuratively be an alien in the Dark Knight universe. The whole controversy of Man of Steel was that Superman like Batman does not kill. This point was evident in the Nolan films and would have benefitted the plot of this film rather than the whole "can we trust this alien to continue doing good" arc from the first film.
Another possibility in the case of creating a new Batman is to have delayed this film and make a solo Batman film to create familiarity for a team up film later on. Imagine how weak the Avengers would be if they had dug up Captain America out of ice midway through Iron Man 2.
This film was not Fantastic Four, in that it was bad enough to kill any future plans for a shared universe but it packed a very small punch thus creating little to no momentum for the future films in the DC Universe. With that being said they may make a great Wonder Woman film and restore or gain some enthusiasm for the Justice League film.
For now we can only hope that the second film that showcases a superhero beef this year (with characters that actually have history on the screen) Captain America: Civil War justifies the excitement for it.
Saturday, March 19, 2016
Top 5 Worst Trades Made By The New York Knickerbockers in the Last 15 Years
Just to be clear this list could have been longer but I decided on 5 because each of these trades were made by different GMs and team presidents so I don't want this to be a hate fest (I'm looking at you Isiah!).
Let's start with an honorable mention:
The Tyson Chandler Trade
Tyson Chandler was traded along with Raymond Felton to the Dallas Mavericks for Jose Calderon, Shane Larkin, Wayne Ellington, Samuel Dalembert, and two second rounders.
Tyson Chandler won Defensive Player of the Year after his first season with the Knicks. While here, he always seemed like he brought whatever it is that makes a team a title contender to the Knicks. The entire team was better defensively when he was on the floor. They won 54 games with him and their first playoff series in many years. But, let's be honest his thorough schooling in that second round Indiana series by Roy Hibbert (lol!) did him in as far as I'm concerned.
On the eve of his walk year the new Knicks president, Phil "11 rings" Jackson decided to begin his elaborate and exhausting rebuilding process by trading him. At the time Chandler was one of very few Knicks with any trade value. Surely there was a better trade to be made, such as one that was floated around that had Tyson going to the Thunder for a late first rounder or packaging him with Iman Shumpert for basically anyone or multiple first rounders.
The literal and figurative weight on the trade was Raymond Felton who was being run out of New York for basically being fat, slow, and no help. It also didn't help that he had a gun charge being brought against him.
Years later only Jose Calderon and one of those second rounders (Cleanthony Early) are on the Knicks roster.
The Jalen Rose Trade
Knicks acquire Jalen Rose and a 2006 first-rounder (Renaldo Balkman!) for Antonio Davis.
Well there's nothing too wrong with this trade except that it was Jalen Rose at the back end of his career with a lot of money owed for Antonio Davis, also at the back end of his career.
The problem I have is with the Puerto Rican Olympian, Renaldo Balkman. When you acquire a first rounder you want to get a guy that can at least develop into a solid regular in your rotation. Rajon Rondo was picked 21st and Kyle Lowry 24th. Balkman was picked 20th. The best thing that came out of Renaldo Balkman's career was Stephen A. Smith, straight frying him and Isiah right after the pick. This was back when Stephen A. Smith was entertaining and not pissing you off at 10am on your day off on First Take.
Now here's the five:
5. The Melo Trade
Knicks acquire Carmelo Anthony, Chauncey Billups, Renaldo Balkman,Anthony Carter, Shelden Williams, and Corey Brewer in exchange for Danilo Gallinari, Wilson Chandler, Raymond Felton, Timofey Mozgov, and the reason why the Knicks hardly have any draft picks from here to my unborn child's graduation.
Now let me start off by saying I'm not one of those people that rue the day this trade happened. I love Melo and I love Melo on the Knicks. I still have faith in a future with Melo and KP. But, should he decide to waive his no-trade clause for a trade that favors both him and the Knicks I would gladly root for his success elsewhere. It does take a lot to deal with B.S. of being a Knick.
What upsets me with this trade is the ripple effect. If Melo would've waited until the end of the lockout and signed as a free agent all of the assets used in this trade may have been used in a trade for Chris Paul (preferably), Dwight Howard (begrudgingly), or some other unhappy star.
Chauncey Billups was a breath of fresh air, although Felton was almost All Star good that season. Billups had a team option for the post lockout season. The smart thing would have been to not pick up Billups option and amnesty Amare Stoudemire freeing up more than $30 million in cap space. But instead they picked up Billups option and amnestied him a little while later to sign Tyson Chandler and we were stuck with Amare's ailing, uninsured knees.
The lack of draft picks suck as well. One of those picks will be discussed later in a another trade. But, not having a first round pick for most of the drafts in this decade doesn't help create any youth on your squad.
4.The T-Mac Trade
Knicks acquire Tracy McGrady and Sergio Rodriguez in exchange forJordan Hill, Jared Jeffries, and a heavily conditional pick that eventually became Royce White this year
Man, if we could've gotten Tracy McGrady back in say 2005 or 2006 boy I would've been so hyped. When the Knicks got Tracy McGrady in 2010 the reaction of Knicks fans was like as if we had gotten him in 2005. The Knicks stunk and we have stunk for many years. Being a Knick fan is like being a fan of any other also-ran team in the city. It's like when the Jets get an over the hill running back or the Mets get a past his prime slugger. We always see the name and not the actually person.
The area of this trade I want to pick apart is Jordan Hill. Hill was the 7th pick of the draft that year. He was the consolation prize for basketball god Stephen Curry not dropping one more spot and punishment for not picking Brandon Jennings.
This trade was a salary dump in the futile labor of getting Lebron James and another big free agent in 2010. My biggest fear is the "what if" as in what if Steph would've gotten to his rightful place in the Garden would Jim Dolan (stupid on all things basketball) overrule Donnie Walsh (smart on all things basketball) and included Stephen Curry in this trade or the Melo trade for that matter.
3. The Marbury Trade
Knicks acquire Stephon Marbury, Penny Hardaway, and Cezary Trybanski in exchange for Antonio McDyess, Howard Eisley, Maciej Lampe, Charlie Ward, the rights to Milos Vujanic, a 2004 first-rounder (Kirk Snyder) and a heavily protected first-rounder that eventually became Gordon Hayward in 2010, and $3 million.
This was like the Melo trade except a very poor man's Melo trade. We all as Knicks fans were very optimistic about the team when Isiah took over. He couldn't be any worse than Scott Layden right? Right?
Well they were about even, only difference was Thomas was given a longer leash. So, let's go back shall we to the time of Zeke optimism.
Marbury had just come off a great playoff series against the eventual champion Spurs. His career seemed like it was on the path to him becoming a solid lead guard for any team. Any team in China I suppose. He was a star in high school in the city and was basically traded for the real 2001-2002 MVP Jason Kidd straight up so it seem like things were looking up for the Knicks.
You had an hometown kid as the first building block in a rebuild, this was the first move to be followed by a bunch of other solid moves. Wrong, this was the first bad move to be followed by a ton of other bad moves. This trade also includes a draft pick that only came into fruition 6 years later. How does one make a move that impacts you 6 years later? Does anyone actually know where they're going to be in 6 years? I guess Isiah thought he wasn't going to be with the Knicks. Well he was kind of right.
1B. The Bargnani trade
Thank goodness Kristaps Porzingis was in the 2015 draft and not the 2016 draft. Well I guess you'd have to thank the Stepian Rule which bars you from trading first round picks in consecutive years. That's crazy because prior to this trade the Knicks would've had picks in consecutive years albeit with the condition that if Denver fell lower in the draft than the Knicks, they would get to swap picks.
If this trade wouldn't have happened things would be pretty alright for the Knicks because they're pretty bad but Denver is worst at the moment so we would've ended up with at least lottery pick.
Jim Dolan fired Glen Grunwald in 2013 after a delightful 54 win season and division title to match. We were all puzzled as to why. I now realize that this is that "Why?". We had heard for a while that the biggest waste of a first overall pick since Kwame Brown, Andrea Bargagni was being offered in trades as part of a salary dump by the original Knicks asset burglar Masai Ujiri.
When you have a former number one pick that hasn't even sniffed an all star game nor portrayed himself as serviceable NBA player on the trading block, you have to make that trade. Apparently Grunwald thought so. There it was, this is the big piece we acquired to get to the next level. It was someone virtually nobody wanted. We traded our first rounder for him. When the trade was made I could swear it was the Knicks that acquired Toronto's first rounder, but I was wrong. I think we actually gave up a second round pick as well.
Bargnani was actually waived and is now available for the league minimum. Shame on you Glen.
1A The Eddy Curry trade
Knicks acquire Eddy Curry, Antonio Davis, and the right to swap 2007 first-rounders with the Bulls (ended up being Wilson Chandler) in exchange for Tim Thomas, Mike Sweetney, Jermaine Jackson, pick swaps in 2006 and 2007 that ended up being LaMarcus Aldridge and Joakim Noah, a 2007 second-rounder (Kyrylo Fesenko), and a 2009 second-rounder (Jon Brockman).
I always said that should Isiah Thomas ever return to the Knicks in any capacity that he be required to give the MSG Network an hour long interview explaining each of his terrible trades with Al Trautwig as the host as well as Wally Sczerbiak and Alan Hahn analyzing each response.
This trade should be discussed for at least 20 minutes of that interview.
Well let's break down the silver linings of the trade; you got rid of the gelatinous Mike Sweetney, got Antonio Davis who seems like a nice guy and was probably a good veteran for the locker room, and later acquired Wilson Chandler who was super talented and well liked during his time with the Knicks.
The bad of this trade far outweighs the good of it. You got rid of the gelatinous Mike Sweetney but you gained the far more gelatinous Eddy Curry and his heart defect. You lose out on not only 2nd overall pick LaMarcus Aldridge but future Defensive Player of the Year Joakim Noah. Noah would've been an All Star a billion times over if he'd gotten to us. It would've been Linsanity but an actual Linsanity that was deserved. I will hate this trade until the Knicks actually win a championship and probably still find a reason to bitch and moan about it.
So there you have it a full recipe for a team barren of draft picks, playoff appearances, and hope.
Let's start with an honorable mention:
The Tyson Chandler Trade
Tyson Chandler was traded along with Raymond Felton to the Dallas Mavericks for Jose Calderon, Shane Larkin, Wayne Ellington, Samuel Dalembert, and two second rounders.
Tyson Chandler won Defensive Player of the Year after his first season with the Knicks. While here, he always seemed like he brought whatever it is that makes a team a title contender to the Knicks. The entire team was better defensively when he was on the floor. They won 54 games with him and their first playoff series in many years. But, let's be honest his thorough schooling in that second round Indiana series by Roy Hibbert (lol!) did him in as far as I'm concerned.
On the eve of his walk year the new Knicks president, Phil "11 rings" Jackson decided to begin his elaborate and exhausting rebuilding process by trading him. At the time Chandler was one of very few Knicks with any trade value. Surely there was a better trade to be made, such as one that was floated around that had Tyson going to the Thunder for a late first rounder or packaging him with Iman Shumpert for basically anyone or multiple first rounders.
The literal and figurative weight on the trade was Raymond Felton who was being run out of New York for basically being fat, slow, and no help. It also didn't help that he had a gun charge being brought against him.
Years later only Jose Calderon and one of those second rounders (Cleanthony Early) are on the Knicks roster.
The Jalen Rose Trade
Knicks acquire Jalen Rose and a 2006 first-rounder (Renaldo Balkman!) for Antonio Davis.
Well there's nothing too wrong with this trade except that it was Jalen Rose at the back end of his career with a lot of money owed for Antonio Davis, also at the back end of his career.
The problem I have is with the Puerto Rican Olympian, Renaldo Balkman. When you acquire a first rounder you want to get a guy that can at least develop into a solid regular in your rotation. Rajon Rondo was picked 21st and Kyle Lowry 24th. Balkman was picked 20th. The best thing that came out of Renaldo Balkman's career was Stephen A. Smith, straight frying him and Isiah right after the pick. This was back when Stephen A. Smith was entertaining and not pissing you off at 10am on your day off on First Take.
Now here's the five:
5. The Melo Trade
Knicks acquire Carmelo Anthony, Chauncey Billups, Renaldo Balkman,Anthony Carter, Shelden Williams, and Corey Brewer in exchange for Danilo Gallinari, Wilson Chandler, Raymond Felton, Timofey Mozgov, and the reason why the Knicks hardly have any draft picks from here to my unborn child's graduation.
Now let me start off by saying I'm not one of those people that rue the day this trade happened. I love Melo and I love Melo on the Knicks. I still have faith in a future with Melo and KP. But, should he decide to waive his no-trade clause for a trade that favors both him and the Knicks I would gladly root for his success elsewhere. It does take a lot to deal with B.S. of being a Knick.
What upsets me with this trade is the ripple effect. If Melo would've waited until the end of the lockout and signed as a free agent all of the assets used in this trade may have been used in a trade for Chris Paul (preferably), Dwight Howard (begrudgingly), or some other unhappy star.
Chauncey Billups was a breath of fresh air, although Felton was almost All Star good that season. Billups had a team option for the post lockout season. The smart thing would have been to not pick up Billups option and amnesty Amare Stoudemire freeing up more than $30 million in cap space. But instead they picked up Billups option and amnestied him a little while later to sign Tyson Chandler and we were stuck with Amare's ailing, uninsured knees.
The lack of draft picks suck as well. One of those picks will be discussed later in a another trade. But, not having a first round pick for most of the drafts in this decade doesn't help create any youth on your squad.
4.The T-Mac Trade
Knicks acquire Tracy McGrady and Sergio Rodriguez in exchange forJordan Hill, Jared Jeffries, and a heavily conditional pick that eventually became Royce White this year
Man, if we could've gotten Tracy McGrady back in say 2005 or 2006 boy I would've been so hyped. When the Knicks got Tracy McGrady in 2010 the reaction of Knicks fans was like as if we had gotten him in 2005. The Knicks stunk and we have stunk for many years. Being a Knick fan is like being a fan of any other also-ran team in the city. It's like when the Jets get an over the hill running back or the Mets get a past his prime slugger. We always see the name and not the actually person.
The area of this trade I want to pick apart is Jordan Hill. Hill was the 7th pick of the draft that year. He was the consolation prize for basketball god Stephen Curry not dropping one more spot and punishment for not picking Brandon Jennings.
This trade was a salary dump in the futile labor of getting Lebron James and another big free agent in 2010. My biggest fear is the "what if" as in what if Steph would've gotten to his rightful place in the Garden would Jim Dolan (stupid on all things basketball) overrule Donnie Walsh (smart on all things basketball) and included Stephen Curry in this trade or the Melo trade for that matter.
3. The Marbury Trade
Knicks acquire Stephon Marbury, Penny Hardaway, and Cezary Trybanski in exchange for Antonio McDyess, Howard Eisley, Maciej Lampe, Charlie Ward, the rights to Milos Vujanic, a 2004 first-rounder (Kirk Snyder) and a heavily protected first-rounder that eventually became Gordon Hayward in 2010, and $3 million.
This was like the Melo trade except a very poor man's Melo trade. We all as Knicks fans were very optimistic about the team when Isiah took over. He couldn't be any worse than Scott Layden right? Right?
Well they were about even, only difference was Thomas was given a longer leash. So, let's go back shall we to the time of Zeke optimism.
Marbury had just come off a great playoff series against the eventual champion Spurs. His career seemed like it was on the path to him becoming a solid lead guard for any team. Any team in China I suppose. He was a star in high school in the city and was basically traded for the real 2001-2002 MVP Jason Kidd straight up so it seem like things were looking up for the Knicks.
You had an hometown kid as the first building block in a rebuild, this was the first move to be followed by a bunch of other solid moves. Wrong, this was the first bad move to be followed by a ton of other bad moves. This trade also includes a draft pick that only came into fruition 6 years later. How does one make a move that impacts you 6 years later? Does anyone actually know where they're going to be in 6 years? I guess Isiah thought he wasn't going to be with the Knicks. Well he was kind of right.
1B. The Bargnani trade
Bargnani trade- Steve Novak,
Marcus Camby, a 2016 first round pick for Andrea Bargnani
Thank goodness Kristaps Porzingis was in the 2015 draft and not the 2016 draft. Well I guess you'd have to thank the Stepian Rule which bars you from trading first round picks in consecutive years. That's crazy because prior to this trade the Knicks would've had picks in consecutive years albeit with the condition that if Denver fell lower in the draft than the Knicks, they would get to swap picks.
If this trade wouldn't have happened things would be pretty alright for the Knicks because they're pretty bad but Denver is worst at the moment so we would've ended up with at least lottery pick.
Jim Dolan fired Glen Grunwald in 2013 after a delightful 54 win season and division title to match. We were all puzzled as to why. I now realize that this is that "Why?". We had heard for a while that the biggest waste of a first overall pick since Kwame Brown, Andrea Bargagni was being offered in trades as part of a salary dump by the original Knicks asset burglar Masai Ujiri.
When you have a former number one pick that hasn't even sniffed an all star game nor portrayed himself as serviceable NBA player on the trading block, you have to make that trade. Apparently Grunwald thought so. There it was, this is the big piece we acquired to get to the next level. It was someone virtually nobody wanted. We traded our first rounder for him. When the trade was made I could swear it was the Knicks that acquired Toronto's first rounder, but I was wrong. I think we actually gave up a second round pick as well.
Bargnani was actually waived and is now available for the league minimum. Shame on you Glen.
1A The Eddy Curry trade
Knicks acquire Eddy Curry, Antonio Davis, and the right to swap 2007 first-rounders with the Bulls (ended up being Wilson Chandler) in exchange for Tim Thomas, Mike Sweetney, Jermaine Jackson, pick swaps in 2006 and 2007 that ended up being LaMarcus Aldridge and Joakim Noah, a 2007 second-rounder (Kyrylo Fesenko), and a 2009 second-rounder (Jon Brockman).
I always said that should Isiah Thomas ever return to the Knicks in any capacity that he be required to give the MSG Network an hour long interview explaining each of his terrible trades with Al Trautwig as the host as well as Wally Sczerbiak and Alan Hahn analyzing each response.
This trade should be discussed for at least 20 minutes of that interview.
Well let's break down the silver linings of the trade; you got rid of the gelatinous Mike Sweetney, got Antonio Davis who seems like a nice guy and was probably a good veteran for the locker room, and later acquired Wilson Chandler who was super talented and well liked during his time with the Knicks.
The bad of this trade far outweighs the good of it. You got rid of the gelatinous Mike Sweetney but you gained the far more gelatinous Eddy Curry and his heart defect. You lose out on not only 2nd overall pick LaMarcus Aldridge but future Defensive Player of the Year Joakim Noah. Noah would've been an All Star a billion times over if he'd gotten to us. It would've been Linsanity but an actual Linsanity that was deserved. I will hate this trade until the Knicks actually win a championship and probably still find a reason to bitch and moan about it.
So there you have it a full recipe for a team barren of draft picks, playoff appearances, and hope.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Breaking Down the Myth of Men's Infatuation
Time and time again I hear women talk about how man are only interested in sex and we only think about sex.
That is somewhat true, there is obviously an initial attraction because after all a woman chooses a man and not the other way around.
I could talk to the next hundred women I find attractive and maybe get a number from twenty or so.
What I want to disprove is the idea that men only view women as sex objects...from the get go.
Women don't understand that we are much like animals. Us talking to you is part of our mating ritual. We are trying to find our mate when we approach you, talk to you, and get your number.
Here's another secret, guys actually talk you up to their friends. I can't even count the amount of times my friends or myself have talked about girl who we have just met as though she was the girl Jesus has been saving us for.
We'd talk about how she looks, where she works, what she's doing with her life.
Now you might be asking, where does that interest go?
Away. That's where it goes and it was probably your fault. As a matter of fact it was quite likely your fault.
I liken a man's infatuation with a certain female as if they were an NBA team with a top 5 pick. Not the #1 pick but a top 5 pick nonetheless.
The number 5 pick you at least expect to be very good, may not be your franchise player but will at the very least be good.
Men's infatuation with a certain woman maintains or declines as such:
Franchise Player: Dwyane Wade
Dwyane Wade was the fifth overall pick in 2003 by the Miami Heat out of Marquette. He was drafted behind Lebron, Melo, Chris Bosh, and somehow someway Darko "Playing in Serbia Right Now" Milicic. The Heat expected him to be a franchise point guard for years to come. He changed positions, won 3 NBA titles and played in 5 NBA Finals overall. He will go down as a top 5 shooting guard in NBA history behind MJ and Kobe.
Just about every girl we meet we to be that Dwyane Wade and far exceed expectations. This is the girl who you like to hang out with, light up when she texts you, and is basically your ride or die. Wade turned down a lot of money to remain in Miami, so he's pretty ride or die.
Most importantly she's into a lot of the stuff you're into. She love the teams you like, music you like, everything. I met this one girl who loved the Tom Green classic critical nightmare "Freddy Got Fingered" which was a movie I thought nobody liked but me. True story: my PS2 was my first DVD player and I bought the movie at Best Buy for $5 and watched it 40 times(I counted) in a span of 3 days. That girl was a keeper.
Star Player: Joakim Noah
Noah was a Knick pick that Isaiah Thomas traded away and nothing else to me. But, to everyone else he is the 2013-14 NBA Defensive Player of the Year and an intricate part of the Chicago Bulls throughout Derrick Rose's injury issues these past few years.
So this girl isn't the one you'd turn down tickets to a football game for but you will turn down a night out with your boys for. I had a friend turn down going out with us to go to Costco with a lady, so I guess it was pretty serious.
Starter: Danillo Gallinari
She is not the one you want but she's getting the job done. You talk about her good qualities. Gallo was tall and could shoot so you could talk yourself into thinking he was the next Dirk Nowitzki.
This girl is boring as hell but you know if you hit up her on Facebook she'll respond. She works at Footlocker so she can hold back a pair of those retro Jordans on Saturday so you keep her around.
Sixth Man: DJ Augustin
Just as DJ Augustin is always available somehow when your point guard is injured and you need depth, so is this broad. She's your sixth man, she's your microwave because she can heat up at any second.
But, you leave her out there too long she can become the detriment. Just like you can throw too much trust into your sixth man and leave him out there to yak up brick after brick, you can do the same with this girl.
She fits her purpose but feels as though she should be one of the three mentioned above and may try to force the situation. I had a friend have a sixth man girl force her way into being his star player and his team is still rebuilding to this day.
Role Player: Emeka Okafor
I picked Emeka Okafor for this spot because at some point he was all of these. This is the last valuable position.
He will text you from time to time especially when he is in a drought, not even a sex drought, like a "wow my phone is really dry, when's the last time I talked to a girl" drought. You've been broken down to a basic use, like a role player: we need threes, that's your role, we need to defend the paint, that's your role etc.
OUT OF THE LEAGUE: Darko Milicic
Would you look at that, number 2 overall. The best player in the league drafted ahead of you, NBA champions and a scoring champion drafted right behind you. What are you up to? Nothing. Nobody wants you.
This girl is so boring you ignore her texts whereas you used to at least acknowledge her with short messages to wet her beak. She has no sneaker hookups, phone hookups, food hookups or any hookups whatsoever.
So what is left? The sex, which for this girl, a lot is left to be desired. If the question is to hook up with her you tell yourself that you've hooked up with worst but at the same time you've hooked up with much better. After careful evaluation, you ultimately pass.
So there you have it.
When we meet and flirt with women we have such high expectations for you until you give us reasons not too. At the same time I'm pretty sure it is the same for women when meeting men except women's expectations are way too high to begin with.
That is somewhat true, there is obviously an initial attraction because after all a woman chooses a man and not the other way around.
I could talk to the next hundred women I find attractive and maybe get a number from twenty or so.
What I want to disprove is the idea that men only view women as sex objects...from the get go.
Women don't understand that we are much like animals. Us talking to you is part of our mating ritual. We are trying to find our mate when we approach you, talk to you, and get your number.
Here's another secret, guys actually talk you up to their friends. I can't even count the amount of times my friends or myself have talked about girl who we have just met as though she was the girl Jesus has been saving us for.
We'd talk about how she looks, where she works, what she's doing with her life.
Now you might be asking, where does that interest go?
Away. That's where it goes and it was probably your fault. As a matter of fact it was quite likely your fault.
I liken a man's infatuation with a certain female as if they were an NBA team with a top 5 pick. Not the #1 pick but a top 5 pick nonetheless.
The number 5 pick you at least expect to be very good, may not be your franchise player but will at the very least be good.
Men's infatuation with a certain woman maintains or declines as such:
Franchise Player: Dwyane Wade
Dwyane Wade was the fifth overall pick in 2003 by the Miami Heat out of Marquette. He was drafted behind Lebron, Melo, Chris Bosh, and somehow someway Darko "Playing in Serbia Right Now" Milicic. The Heat expected him to be a franchise point guard for years to come. He changed positions, won 3 NBA titles and played in 5 NBA Finals overall. He will go down as a top 5 shooting guard in NBA history behind MJ and Kobe.
Just about every girl we meet we to be that Dwyane Wade and far exceed expectations. This is the girl who you like to hang out with, light up when she texts you, and is basically your ride or die. Wade turned down a lot of money to remain in Miami, so he's pretty ride or die.
Most importantly she's into a lot of the stuff you're into. She love the teams you like, music you like, everything. I met this one girl who loved the Tom Green classic critical nightmare "Freddy Got Fingered" which was a movie I thought nobody liked but me. True story: my PS2 was my first DVD player and I bought the movie at Best Buy for $5 and watched it 40 times(I counted) in a span of 3 days. That girl was a keeper.
Star Player: Joakim Noah
Noah was a Knick pick that Isaiah Thomas traded away and nothing else to me. But, to everyone else he is the 2013-14 NBA Defensive Player of the Year and an intricate part of the Chicago Bulls throughout Derrick Rose's injury issues these past few years.
So this girl isn't the one you'd turn down tickets to a football game for but you will turn down a night out with your boys for. I had a friend turn down going out with us to go to Costco with a lady, so I guess it was pretty serious.
Starter: Danillo Gallinari
She is not the one you want but she's getting the job done. You talk about her good qualities. Gallo was tall and could shoot so you could talk yourself into thinking he was the next Dirk Nowitzki.
This girl is boring as hell but you know if you hit up her on Facebook she'll respond. She works at Footlocker so she can hold back a pair of those retro Jordans on Saturday so you keep her around.
Sixth Man: DJ Augustin
Just as DJ Augustin is always available somehow when your point guard is injured and you need depth, so is this broad. She's your sixth man, she's your microwave because she can heat up at any second.
But, you leave her out there too long she can become the detriment. Just like you can throw too much trust into your sixth man and leave him out there to yak up brick after brick, you can do the same with this girl.
She fits her purpose but feels as though she should be one of the three mentioned above and may try to force the situation. I had a friend have a sixth man girl force her way into being his star player and his team is still rebuilding to this day.
Role Player: Emeka Okafor
I picked Emeka Okafor for this spot because at some point he was all of these. This is the last valuable position.
He will text you from time to time especially when he is in a drought, not even a sex drought, like a "wow my phone is really dry, when's the last time I talked to a girl" drought. You've been broken down to a basic use, like a role player: we need threes, that's your role, we need to defend the paint, that's your role etc.
OUT OF THE LEAGUE: Darko Milicic
Would you look at that, number 2 overall. The best player in the league drafted ahead of you, NBA champions and a scoring champion drafted right behind you. What are you up to? Nothing. Nobody wants you.
This girl is so boring you ignore her texts whereas you used to at least acknowledge her with short messages to wet her beak. She has no sneaker hookups, phone hookups, food hookups or any hookups whatsoever.
So what is left? The sex, which for this girl, a lot is left to be desired. If the question is to hook up with her you tell yourself that you've hooked up with worst but at the same time you've hooked up with much better. After careful evaluation, you ultimately pass.
So there you have it.
When we meet and flirt with women we have such high expectations for you until you give us reasons not too. At the same time I'm pretty sure it is the same for women when meeting men except women's expectations are way too high to begin with.
Monday, November 3, 2014
Things Black People Usually Don't Like That Suge Does
In a new weekly column here I've decided to end racism in baby steps. Even though in the past we've talked about racism a little on here and here.
So every week I will talk about three things that aren't popular with black people in general but quite popular with this black person.
1. Hockey
Well not all hockey. I'm not going to be watching random hockey games on the NHL Network. But, I am a huge New York Rangers fan. I've been following the team since the NHL returned back in 2005 from a season long lockout. I usually would only watch during the playoffs because playoff hockey is a million times more intense, maybe because there is no shootouts or ties. I started to watch regular season games coincidentally because of the NBA's lockout in 2011. That year the Rangers led the Eastern Conference in wins and points, we even made it to the Conference Final. Last season the team went all the way to the Stanley Cup Final on the backs of goaltender Henriq Lundqvist and eventual captain Ryan McDonough. They even have a rookie black dude on the team named Anthony Duclair who is highly regarded.
2.It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
I have a unique sense of humor in that I find ubiquitous humor, things make me laugh in the most random places. Good humor, corny humor, all humor. "Sunny" is a show about four people who own a bar along with the man who raised two of them. The auxiliary characters are unforgettable. The titles of the episodes are simple such as "The Gang Buys A Boat" yet the episode itself is far more complex. As soon as I finish season 10 on Netflix I will be writing a list of my ten favorite episodes. I actually started watching this show by way of me watching a movie on FX, leaving to take a shower then returning to find cable TV's best comedy and being hooked. I even dressed up as Charlie for Halloween last year.
3.Portlandia
Now this show took me by surprise because it seemed like something I would never watch. I was a fan of Fred Armison from his days on Saturday Night Live. He and Carrie Brownstein make one hell of a team. The sketches on the show are humorous satire on hipster culture and make you admire the unique weirdness that is Portland, Oregon. Watch one episode and if you don't laugh, I don't know what to tell you.
So til next time, here's a pic of me as Charlie.
So every week I will talk about three things that aren't popular with black people in general but quite popular with this black person.
1. Hockey
Well not all hockey. I'm not going to be watching random hockey games on the NHL Network. But, I am a huge New York Rangers fan. I've been following the team since the NHL returned back in 2005 from a season long lockout. I usually would only watch during the playoffs because playoff hockey is a million times more intense, maybe because there is no shootouts or ties. I started to watch regular season games coincidentally because of the NBA's lockout in 2011. That year the Rangers led the Eastern Conference in wins and points, we even made it to the Conference Final. Last season the team went all the way to the Stanley Cup Final on the backs of goaltender Henriq Lundqvist and eventual captain Ryan McDonough. They even have a rookie black dude on the team named Anthony Duclair who is highly regarded.
2.It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
I have a unique sense of humor in that I find ubiquitous humor, things make me laugh in the most random places. Good humor, corny humor, all humor. "Sunny" is a show about four people who own a bar along with the man who raised two of them. The auxiliary characters are unforgettable. The titles of the episodes are simple such as "The Gang Buys A Boat" yet the episode itself is far more complex. As soon as I finish season 10 on Netflix I will be writing a list of my ten favorite episodes. I actually started watching this show by way of me watching a movie on FX, leaving to take a shower then returning to find cable TV's best comedy and being hooked. I even dressed up as Charlie for Halloween last year.
3.Portlandia
Now this show took me by surprise because it seemed like something I would never watch. I was a fan of Fred Armison from his days on Saturday Night Live. He and Carrie Brownstein make one hell of a team. The sketches on the show are humorous satire on hipster culture and make you admire the unique weirdness that is Portland, Oregon. Watch one episode and if you don't laugh, I don't know what to tell you.
So til next time, here's a pic of me as Charlie.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Basic Cable Porn: A Comprehensive Power Ranking
Coming of Age
A term that has been used to describe the growth from adolescence to adulthood. Boyhood to manhood.
Just the other day I was thinking about this period of time in my own life. I was cruising through YouTube out of boredom and found myself watching an old episode of Baywatch that featured Hulk Hogan, Macho Man Randy Savage, and Ric Flair. But what I failed to realize was that it had Pamela Anderson before at least 3 unneeded breast augmentations. It also had the angelic Yasmine Bleeth, the BASEketball beauty.
I might sound like the old man telling kids, "In my day...", but what is true is that future generations from here on out will not know the...let's say "pleasure" you got from places other than the internet.
You'd read your mother or sister's Victoria Secret catalog or got your hands on the Sports Illustrate Swimsuit Edition, Maxim, or FHM.
For those fortunate as myself you could look no further than your cable television package. Especially, if also like me, you had your own TV in your bedroom.
What I have done is comprised a list of Cable TV shows that were as close to porn as you can get.
9. Desperate Housewives
Well this was on ABC so you didn't even need cable to watch this . Every main female character on this show was quite gorgeous except for Felicity Huffman, well they needed to level off somewhere. We never saw the Real Lois Lane, Teri Hatcher, in her undies but we saw plenty of Eva Longoria. Eva was fine but I have a thing for red heads. The one episode where Marcia Cross surprised her husband in a hotel room remains an all-timer for me. The fact that this show moved it's storylines from sex to god knows what shied me away in its later years hence its low ranking.
8. Wild On
Wild On was a travel show on E! hosted by several different hotties and featured several diffrent hotties in different locales with said host hotties. There were bikinis and sexy club outfits. A great watch on a late Saturday night for teenage boys. It was also the pregame for the next entry on the list.
7. Girls Gone Wild Paid Programming Commercials.
These infomercials included the wild parties where girls would show some boobs for beads, shirts, or a ham sandwich, maybe. Only problem with this was the boner killer that was the guy that ran GGW, Joe Francis. He looked like the guy that would be running GGW, that's the creepy thing about him. He looked like the type of guy that felt girls up when they were passed out drunk. Later in life I watched a full GGW feature and the infomercials were a lot better. The setup was a bus or hotel room and a drunk/uncomfortable girl. Thank god this fad faded.
6. Syndicated Dating Shows
These shows included Blind Date, Elimidate, and the 5th Wheel. They were everywhere, channel 9, cable, Telemundo maybe. This was during the early part of reality television so there was a lot of luster to watching real people do stuff. Giving a rough estimate I'd say 84% of the women on these shows were hotties. They had Jacuzzis and bikinis. Blind Date had those funny cartoons and captions on the screen so it also had entertainment value.
5. Undressed
MTV experimented with a show called Undressed. It was a late night soap opera that followed their 10-10:30pm timeslot known as the 10 Spot. It was like porn in that it had amateur acting. In retrospect it had all the stuff porn did before the sex. I found out that Christina Hendricks was on this show, let that sink in, Joan from Mad Men was on a show about sex and you missed it because this show stunk.
4.Wrestling
At this time there were three wrestling promotions, WWF/E, WCW, and ECW. Unlike today where WWE promotes a PG style of programming, all of the promotions were trying to outdo each other and push limits. WCW had Nitro Girls. WWE had Sable, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, and Torrie Wilson. ECW had Dawn Marie and Francine. The thing about Francine and Dawn Marie was that if you found an episode of BangBus from 2000 and one or both were on it, it would not surprise me one bit.
3. Baywatch Re-runs
While I am old enough to remember Baywatch from its first run. When TNN (now known as Spike) showed re-runs as part of their re-brand as a male focused network I enjoyed coming home from school and watching it more than I did then. There was a perennial torch passed from hot lifeguard to hot lifeguard in the history of this show. From Erika Eleniak to Pamela Anderson to Carmen Electra and so on.
2. BET Uncut
Some of you may not know what BET Uncut was, especially if you didn't watch BET. Odds are you discovered it during the summer because it came on at 2am. It featured music videos that were too racy for TV or uncut versions of music videos that had been edited down for TV. Eventually the video block disappeared not because of its content but the trend of music channels distancing themselves from...well, music.
A term that has been used to describe the growth from adolescence to adulthood. Boyhood to manhood.
Just the other day I was thinking about this period of time in my own life. I was cruising through YouTube out of boredom and found myself watching an old episode of Baywatch that featured Hulk Hogan, Macho Man Randy Savage, and Ric Flair. But what I failed to realize was that it had Pamela Anderson before at least 3 unneeded breast augmentations. It also had the angelic Yasmine Bleeth, the BASEketball beauty.
I might sound like the old man telling kids, "In my day...", but what is true is that future generations from here on out will not know the...let's say "pleasure" you got from places other than the internet.
You'd read your mother or sister's Victoria Secret catalog or got your hands on the Sports Illustrate Swimsuit Edition, Maxim, or FHM.
For those fortunate as myself you could look no further than your cable television package. Especially, if also like me, you had your own TV in your bedroom.
What I have done is comprised a list of Cable TV shows that were as close to porn as you can get.
9. Desperate Housewives
Well this was on ABC so you didn't even need cable to watch this . Every main female character on this show was quite gorgeous except for Felicity Huffman, well they needed to level off somewhere. We never saw the Real Lois Lane, Teri Hatcher, in her undies but we saw plenty of Eva Longoria. Eva was fine but I have a thing for red heads. The one episode where Marcia Cross surprised her husband in a hotel room remains an all-timer for me. The fact that this show moved it's storylines from sex to god knows what shied me away in its later years hence its low ranking.
8. Wild On
Wild On was a travel show on E! hosted by several different hotties and featured several diffrent hotties in different locales with said host hotties. There were bikinis and sexy club outfits. A great watch on a late Saturday night for teenage boys. It was also the pregame for the next entry on the list.
7. Girls Gone Wild Paid Programming Commercials.
These infomercials included the wild parties where girls would show some boobs for beads, shirts, or a ham sandwich, maybe. Only problem with this was the boner killer that was the guy that ran GGW, Joe Francis. He looked like the guy that would be running GGW, that's the creepy thing about him. He looked like the type of guy that felt girls up when they were passed out drunk. Later in life I watched a full GGW feature and the infomercials were a lot better. The setup was a bus or hotel room and a drunk/uncomfortable girl. Thank god this fad faded.
6. Syndicated Dating Shows
These shows included Blind Date, Elimidate, and the 5th Wheel. They were everywhere, channel 9, cable, Telemundo maybe. This was during the early part of reality television so there was a lot of luster to watching real people do stuff. Giving a rough estimate I'd say 84% of the women on these shows were hotties. They had Jacuzzis and bikinis. Blind Date had those funny cartoons and captions on the screen so it also had entertainment value.
5. Undressed
MTV experimented with a show called Undressed. It was a late night soap opera that followed their 10-10:30pm timeslot known as the 10 Spot. It was like porn in that it had amateur acting. In retrospect it had all the stuff porn did before the sex. I found out that Christina Hendricks was on this show, let that sink in, Joan from Mad Men was on a show about sex and you missed it because this show stunk.
4.Wrestling
At this time there were three wrestling promotions, WWF/E, WCW, and ECW. Unlike today where WWE promotes a PG style of programming, all of the promotions were trying to outdo each other and push limits. WCW had Nitro Girls. WWE had Sable, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, and Torrie Wilson. ECW had Dawn Marie and Francine. The thing about Francine and Dawn Marie was that if you found an episode of BangBus from 2000 and one or both were on it, it would not surprise me one bit.
3. Baywatch Re-runs
2. BET Uncut
Some of you may not know what BET Uncut was, especially if you didn't watch BET. Odds are you discovered it during the summer because it came on at 2am. It featured music videos that were too racy for TV or uncut versions of music videos that had been edited down for TV. Eventually the video block disappeared not because of its content but the trend of music channels distancing themselves from...well, music.
"Oh that's your girl, N***a you ain't heard, she naked in my studio, I'm on my Howard Stern shit"
-Big Sean
1. The Howard Stern Show
He had porn stars, nude models, and all kinds of strippers on his show. Looking back on it I wonder what it was like to listen to this on the radio, couldn't be as enjoyable. The only thing I didn't care for was this one stripper with this ridiculously mousy voice. Other than that I was introduced to a bunch of porn stars I never knew. I still have yet to go to Score's here in New York but Stern definitely put them on the map. Last but not least, he had chicks riding the Sybian, a god damn Sybian on TV.
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
The Black Man: America's Stray Dog
By Shaebaun "Suge" Benjamin
Should I begin this by listing the names of young black men who were killed by police officers, authority figures, or self proclaimed vigilantes?
That list is too damn long. If you go on Wikipedia and look up the recorded lynchings of black men since the civil war, the one's listed are only a small percentage of those that actually occurred.
In the past few weeks we have seen Michael Brown murdered and another young black man named John Crawford III. Who is Michael Brown? A young man who may have spent this week packing up and getting ready for his first semester of college.
In reaction to his death his mother spoke through tears about how it was difficult to raise Michael in the straight and narrow while keeping him from falling into the community around him. Michael graduated high school and had dreams of being an engineer not an athlete, rapper, or drug dealer.
He was murdered as he walked home from the store which follows the narrative that goes with one of these murders. "I'm going to the store and coming right back" sounds simple enough for anyone who's not a black man.
Crawford was killed in an Ohio Walmart for opening a toy gun he had bought and told the officers that approached him that it was not real and they proceeded to shoot him anyway.
There is an inherent fear of the black male in American society. The late comedian Patrice O'Neal talked about it in one bit called the "Pepsi Can Rapist". In it he talks about how when in an elevator with a white woman, the woman clutches her purse and is scared yet coincidentally he is thinking "God, please let this white woman get home safely so I'm not the prime suspect in whatever happens to her".
There has been many a time I've walked around the city, malls, different places and I feel the need to slow down how I walk in fear that I am making the person walking in front of me afraid. You read that right, I am in fear of their fear of me. Some may say if you're not guilty of anything you shouldn't be paranoid but when the Michael Browns and Trayvon Martins of the world are being killed without cause and there are laws like New York City's "Stop & Frisk" where an officer can stop and search you like a criminal without justification, you can't help but feel a little paranoid.
Michael and Trayvon's death follows a long history of black youths being made examples of. Emmett Till was just 15 when he was murdered by a group of white men for making a pass at one's wife in 1955. He was taken from his uncle's house in the middle of the night and the men were all acquitted even with overwhelming evidence.
The methods have changed but the outcomes have not. They can't grab you out of your homes as they did in the Jim Crow south but they still face no real consequence for exterminating us. That's when you have to ask what is the value of a black man's life in today's society?
Eric Garner was a 43 year old husband, father, and grandfather who made a living selling cigarettes wholesale, a non-violent crime that cost him his life by police officers in Staten Island, NY. There is footage of his murder and the events leading to the police officer putting a choke hold that is not part of NYPD procedure.
This case like many others involving officers will likely see these officers not face much penalties.
People like George Zimmerman and the murdering officers view black men as menaces, savages, or stray dogs. They fail to realize that we are people with lives and families that care for us and us for them. Oscar Grant had a daughter, Eric Garner had grandchildren, Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown were sons that had parents. Grant's daughter has no father. Garner's grandkids have no grandpa. Sybrina Fulton and Tracy Martin no longer have their son and neither does Lesley McSpadden.
People ask why is there only an uproar when a young black is killed by a non-black but none when blacks kill other blacks?
Stray dogs. When two stray dogs maul each other on the street there is no issue but once a human gets involved then it is a crime. America cares not for the kids in Chicago killing each other because you never see the gun rights activists step up to the pulpit fighting for the civilians in Chicago who aren't part of the violence to have guns to protect themselves from the world of crime and gang violence around them.
When I expressed my disappointment in the George Zimmerman ruling I said "How am I going to explain to my future son that his life means nothing in America", a white woman responded to me by saying "But we have a black president?" as if Barack Obama's election ended all the racism in America.
That statement in of itself shows that the ignorance will continue.
Martin Luther King Jr. and others started the work but we still have to eradicate the ignorance and intolerance of these oppressors.
The people of Ferguson took to the streets and rioted in retaliation for Brown's death. But if our history shows us anything it is that non-violence and turning the other cheek gains much more results. By letting the oppressor show what they conceive as their might and by displaying our resistance we make them look much worst to an outside eye.
Until there is a day young black men like myself can walk out the door without the fear feeling it may be the last we see our loved ones and them seeing us, America will not be at peace and racism will not be dead and buried as it should.
Should I begin this by listing the names of young black men who were killed by police officers, authority figures, or self proclaimed vigilantes?
That list is too damn long. If you go on Wikipedia and look up the recorded lynchings of black men since the civil war, the one's listed are only a small percentage of those that actually occurred.
In the past few weeks we have seen Michael Brown murdered and another young black man named John Crawford III. Who is Michael Brown? A young man who may have spent this week packing up and getting ready for his first semester of college.
In reaction to his death his mother spoke through tears about how it was difficult to raise Michael in the straight and narrow while keeping him from falling into the community around him. Michael graduated high school and had dreams of being an engineer not an athlete, rapper, or drug dealer.
He was murdered as he walked home from the store which follows the narrative that goes with one of these murders. "I'm going to the store and coming right back" sounds simple enough for anyone who's not a black man.
Crawford was killed in an Ohio Walmart for opening a toy gun he had bought and told the officers that approached him that it was not real and they proceeded to shoot him anyway.
There is an inherent fear of the black male in American society. The late comedian Patrice O'Neal talked about it in one bit called the "Pepsi Can Rapist". In it he talks about how when in an elevator with a white woman, the woman clutches her purse and is scared yet coincidentally he is thinking "God, please let this white woman get home safely so I'm not the prime suspect in whatever happens to her".
There has been many a time I've walked around the city, malls, different places and I feel the need to slow down how I walk in fear that I am making the person walking in front of me afraid. You read that right, I am in fear of their fear of me. Some may say if you're not guilty of anything you shouldn't be paranoid but when the Michael Browns and Trayvon Martins of the world are being killed without cause and there are laws like New York City's "Stop & Frisk" where an officer can stop and search you like a criminal without justification, you can't help but feel a little paranoid.
Michael and Trayvon's death follows a long history of black youths being made examples of. Emmett Till was just 15 when he was murdered by a group of white men for making a pass at one's wife in 1955. He was taken from his uncle's house in the middle of the night and the men were all acquitted even with overwhelming evidence.
The methods have changed but the outcomes have not. They can't grab you out of your homes as they did in the Jim Crow south but they still face no real consequence for exterminating us. That's when you have to ask what is the value of a black man's life in today's society?
Eric Garner was a 43 year old husband, father, and grandfather who made a living selling cigarettes wholesale, a non-violent crime that cost him his life by police officers in Staten Island, NY. There is footage of his murder and the events leading to the police officer putting a choke hold that is not part of NYPD procedure.
This case like many others involving officers will likely see these officers not face much penalties.
People like George Zimmerman and the murdering officers view black men as menaces, savages, or stray dogs. They fail to realize that we are people with lives and families that care for us and us for them. Oscar Grant had a daughter, Eric Garner had grandchildren, Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown were sons that had parents. Grant's daughter has no father. Garner's grandkids have no grandpa. Sybrina Fulton and Tracy Martin no longer have their son and neither does Lesley McSpadden.
People ask why is there only an uproar when a young black is killed by a non-black but none when blacks kill other blacks?
Stray dogs. When two stray dogs maul each other on the street there is no issue but once a human gets involved then it is a crime. America cares not for the kids in Chicago killing each other because you never see the gun rights activists step up to the pulpit fighting for the civilians in Chicago who aren't part of the violence to have guns to protect themselves from the world of crime and gang violence around them.
When I expressed my disappointment in the George Zimmerman ruling I said "How am I going to explain to my future son that his life means nothing in America", a white woman responded to me by saying "But we have a black president?" as if Barack Obama's election ended all the racism in America.
That statement in of itself shows that the ignorance will continue.
Martin Luther King Jr. and others started the work but we still have to eradicate the ignorance and intolerance of these oppressors.
The people of Ferguson took to the streets and rioted in retaliation for Brown's death. But if our history shows us anything it is that non-violence and turning the other cheek gains much more results. By letting the oppressor show what they conceive as their might and by displaying our resistance we make them look much worst to an outside eye.
Until there is a day young black men like myself can walk out the door without the fear feeling it may be the last we see our loved ones and them seeing us, America will not be at peace and racism will not be dead and buried as it should.
Sunday, August 10, 2014
If I Was the Commissioner
By Shaebaun
"Suge" Benjamin
It's been a little slow
here at Hard Magazine because I'm getting ready for a two week vacation and
finding plane tickets for the right price is getting to be a pain, but, here is
my bit for the week.
I was watching a show on
NBATV called Open Court that features former NBA players
discussing different topics in an open forum.
One question posed by
the moderator Ernie Johnson was what each person would change about the NBA if
he were the commissioner. That got me thinking about what I would change about
the NBA, but, then I thought about other sports as well.
I can't really discuss
hockey though I am a huge New York Rangers fan but I will talk about the other
major sports as well as MLS since soccer is getting ever so popular on this
side of the Atlantic.
NFL
Let's start with the
nation's most popular sport beginning with the offseason.
I would make the NFL
Combine a two week to month long event and make it televised so that when you
watch the draft or undrafted free agent pick ups, you could say "I
remember that kid benched 8 plates for 25 reps" or "that guy ran
faster than every dude picked."
I would make the NFL
season still be 16 games but add in another bye week so there would be 18 weeks
in a season.
I don't know about
adding to the playoffs unless maybe adding two wild cards and giving the four
division winners a bye but then the two top seeds in the conference would have
two full weeks off and then if they were to make it to the Super Bowl have
another two weeks off, that would mean three football games played in a month
and a half. It doesn't really work in college football and would elongate the
NFL season.
One thing I would change
in the postseason is dropping the Pro Bowl altogether. One idea that may be
possible is replacing it with a sort of a consolation game between the NFC and
AFC runner-ups. The World Cup does it. Not only could it be popular but also be
real football with no restrictions whatsoever with players still bitter that
they didn't make it to the big game.
NBA
The NBA season should
start on Christmas Eve and end sometime in July. I would also lower the amount
of the games from 82 to 66 which could reduce some injuries.
When I say I would start
the season on Christmas Eve, all games would be against divisional opponents or
teams that are only two or less hours flight time from each other like Dallas
and OKC or Nets and Knicks.
Fourth of July would be
the first day of the Finals. Having the Finals in July would kill the idea of
July being the most boring sports month. The draft and free agency would start
right after Finals.
Draft night would
be the day after the scheduled Game 7 date and free agency would start right
after the Finals and the amount of exclusive time a team has with their own
player is cut from 10 days to 5. The reason for this is that with a salary cap,
the amount of teams a player can choose from is as little as 2 or 3 anyhow.
Instead of a Trade
Deadline I would have 2 two week long trade windows much like in international
soccer they have transfer windows. You'd have the entire offseason until the
start of the season to make trades, then the week of and after the All Star
break and the two weeks leading to the playoffs.
I also agree with Adam
Silver attempting to make All Star Weekend a week long affair. It would be fun
for the host city much like the two weeks before the Super Bowl. For the
players it would be extra rest. For front offices it would be time to prepare
for the trade windows.
To fill in time that
week, I would make the Rookie/Sophomore game a four team tournament over three
days and the other All Star festivities filled in between.
MLB
Now to my favorite
sport. I don't really like the commissioner we have as is. I also will not
discuss the involvement of PED's, if you want to hear my thoughts on that read here.
I have no problem with
the All Star Game being played for homefield advantage in the World Series. The
system before was nonsense. The homefield was alternated every other year so
basically people's arguments against it and wanting the old institution is
"I hope my team makes it to the World Series in an odd number year"
against "I hope my team's league wins the All Star Game so if we get to
the World Series games 1 & 7 is at our park." I do wish that
they'd get rid of the "every team has to be represented" rule.
There's no rule like that in the Pro Bowl and each conference has 50 or so
players opposed to the 35 in baseball.
They could also add a
few more events to the festivities aside from the Home Run Derby. Pitching
Accuracy, Outfield Arm Strength, and Baserunning Races would be nice.
Something that irked me
was a game played the night before the All Star Break. The Yankees lost to the
Orioles in a rain shortened game, 3-1. The Yankees are currently in second
place in the AL East. If they end the season one game behind Baltimore we can
look back at this game and say these two teams play each other 19 times and MLB
wants to emphasize winning the division rather than getting in as a wild card
so why didn’t they play out that game another time. I would make it so that any
intra-divisional game cannot be called after 5 innings due to rain or any other
reason. The game will be subject to be suspended and be resumed at a later
date.
Draft picks should only
be connected to players somewhat if at all. No team should have to forfeit
draft picks to sign players, teams that lose players should gain compensatory
picks without the team gaining the players losing picks.
Other small things such
as having a few more day games during the playoffs would be nice for kids to become
more interested in the sport. I remember watching the 2003 and 2004 ALCS's at
age 13 & 14 and having stay up as late as 1:00am and 2:00am to watch my
Yankees play which is crazy for a freshman in high school let alone a kid in
elementary or middle school.
MLS
If you are still with
me, bear with me if you have little interest in MLS or soccer in general. The
sport has grown from 10 teams and many ups and downs to a 19 team league. By
2017 there will be 23 teams.
International stars such
as David Beckham and Thierry Henry have played in the MLS as well as our
country's own stars like Clint Dempsey and Landon Donovan.
My ideas for this league,
unlike the others, are how to make the league grow and not fix flaws.
I would continue to add
teams, mostly in the under populated midwest as there are only teams in the
Chicago and Kansas City. Perhaps in St. Louis, Oklahoma City, and Minnesota.
The south will have teams in Orlando, Miami, and Atlanta soon.
The league institutes a
designated player rule where a player can be signed with a salary that doesn't
count against the salary cap with many restrictions as to who fits the
requirements. I would do away with the whole thing.
Instead I would let each
team have a $50 million budget for each international transfer window and
raise the salary cap from $10 million to $20-25 million with increases as the
league grows.
I would get the league
in line with the other prominent soccer leagues around the globe by making the
winner of the MLS Cup the team with the most points during the season and have
the MLS teams play in an in season tournament for a secondary cup along with
the US Open cup.
If you have any other
ideas or disagreements for my changes let me know in the comments below.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
The Official Panty Dropper Hall of Fame: The Greatest Baby Maker Music Performers
by Shaebaun "Suge" Benjamin
While on my way to work the other day, I saw pretty good looking girl in yoga pants and I made my own version of Ginuwine's "In Those Jeans" in my head for yoga pants. I then began to think of "Pony" and a few other Ginuwine hits. I thought to myself where does Ginuwine stand as far as the pantheon of "Panty Droppers"
This weekend, baseball welcomed six new members into their Hall of Fame, so in honor of that I will make my own inaugural class for the Panty Dropper Hall of Fame.
I will only cover the 90's and 00's because getting into the Luther Vandrosses and Teddy Pendergrasses will be too much and should go without saying as being Hall of Famers.
I will have five inductees as baseball had in 1939. Well, five solo artists and I'll have a couple groups as well. The criteria for enshrinement will be panty dropping ability of course, body of work, and staying power.
Panty dropping ability is the the power this artist had to make people want to dance vertically and without pants or any clothes on for that matter.
Body of work. The amount of music this artist had for his audience and its substance.
Staying power. Does the music still resonate today? Can it make people grind slow to it that have never heard it before?
I also have a few that just missed the cut. So let's start with them...
Honorable Mentions
Jon B
Jon B revolutionized the blue-eyed soul legacy carried on today by Robin Thicke and Justin Timberlake. Linking up with Babyface in the mid-nineties launched him into the forefront of the R&B scene. He left us with "Pretty Lady", "They Don't Know", and "Someone To Love". The problem with Jon B is that all of those came out around the same time, so it's like being the Juan Gonzalez of of this time period.
Babyface
Mentioned earlier with Jon B, but, Babyface does not make the cut also due to body of work. Although hits like "Two Occasions" and "Whip Appeal" add to his staying power, he left the performing side and instead wrote and produced countless hits. He'd be the Joe Torre of the class because Torre had a great playing career but will be remembered for his managerial career.
Case
This one hurts as well as the next person on this list. Case made some panty droppers, legit ones, but stopped making them. Check out "Missing You" and "Happily Ever After". Here's "Happily Ever After" with a young Beyonce as the main female in the video.
Donnell Jones
I said this one hurts too because every black dude from this time period ought to know "Where I Wanna Be" by heart, it's our birthright. "U Know What's Up" featuring the late Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopes is another hit. Even him singing the hook on the late Big Pun's "It's So Hard" is fire. Jones unfortunately lost steam and faded. He and Case have to be the Brandon Webbs of this list.
Musiq Soulchild
Musiq had you feel like he was someone that was going to remain, at worst, relevant to this day. His music had a message and would make great wedding songs or joints you'd give to your girl on a mixtape. I thought Soulchild would have the career of John Legend. Tim Lincecum is a good comparison.
Chris Brown
A controversial omission because Chris Brown himself may make panties drop, I do not consider him a panty dropper. He did make a few droppers such as "With You" and "Don't Judge Me. Songs like "Take You Down" and "No Bullshit" are songs people bring up and you're like "Oh, yeah I forgot he did that". He's like the Andy Pettite or Mike Mussina of this list.
Now without further adieu, the inaugural class of the Panty Droppers Hall of Fame...
Usher
The headliner of this class is Usher Raymond and I know how to spell that because of his premiere piece "Nice & Slow". Once that dropped, his panty dropper Hall of Fame eligibility was not a matter of "if" but "when". Usher is an icon now but when it comes to the matter at hand, he is a persistent panty dropper for every album he makes there is a panty dropper.
My Way-Nice & Slow
8701-U Got It Bad
Confessions-Superstar, Can U Handle It, Confessions Part II, That's What It's Made For
Here I Stand -Trading Places, Love In This Club
Raymond v. Raymond-Hey Daddy, There Goes My Baby
Looking 4 Myself-Dive, Climax
And he has another album dropping later this year.
Ginuwine
The basis of this article. This man has a song that heavily implies banging in "Pony". "Pony" is still used in movies and TV for highly sexual scenes. In addition to that there are "So Anxious", "Differences", "Love You More", and "Stingy". As you can see Ginuwine has no MVP seasons but year in and year out puts together solid seasons. He hit all three of the requirements swimmingly.
Joe
Y'all must have forgotten about Joe but he surely makes the cut. With hits like "I Wanna Know", "All The Things", "More & More" as well as hooking up with G-Unit for "Wanna Get to Know You". Joe represents Pedro Martinez, although he had a few good seasons, those seasons were so great they are hard to overlook.
Trey Songz
Tremaine makes it because, sheesh, ask your girl about Trigga. "Just Gotta Make It" Trey Songz would not have made this list. He was like a young player that struggled early in his career but worked on his mechanics and turned himself into a Hall of Famer. Compare him to Randy Johnson. Johnson was average before he turned 30 but turned into a Hall of Famer after changing his approach. Trey Songz turned into a more fun-loving and sensual artist. He carried every dude's "party hard with boys yet be passionate with the ladies" attitude into his music. "Invented Sex", "Neighbors Know My Name", "Lovefaces", and others. Some may battle me on this but Trey Songz "Just Gotta Make It" into the Panty Dropper Hall of Fame.
Tyrese
Tyrese is an actor and started off as a model but between all of that he was a singer. You may say he hasn't done much lately in the music department, I guess you didn't hear "Best of Me", but he's a busy man these days. Tyrese made classics "Lately", "Sweet Lady", "How You Gonna Act Like That", "What Am I Gonna Do", and did you forget "The Signs of Lovemaking"? Tyrese more than makes the Hall of Fame, this dude is Ichiro Suzuki.
112
112 dominated the R&B group division from the late 90's and the early 2000's. They had competition from Dru Hill, Next, and Jagged Edge but held strong. "Cupid" is the song lovers bond over. "Anywhere" makes lovers bond all of the place. "U Already Know" was their 2011 Derek Jeter season, the last good one by an aging veteran.
Jodeci
Jodeci makes the list not only for their own work but the work KC & JoJo did on their own later on. "Come & Talk to Me" was the anthem for the shy guys. "Feenin" was for the "cuffed-up" dudes. "FreakNYou" was the joint for the lovemaking. There was also "Forever My Lady", "Stay", and "Cry For You" among others. KC & JoJo then went on the make an all timer in "All My Life". They also had "Tell Me It's Real", "Life", "Crazy", and "Don't Rush".
So there you are, The Inaugural Class of the Panty Dropper's Hall of Fame. If you disagree or feel there are some artisst that should be on here please let me know in the comments below.
While on my way to work the other day, I saw pretty good looking girl in yoga pants and I made my own version of Ginuwine's "In Those Jeans" in my head for yoga pants. I then began to think of "Pony" and a few other Ginuwine hits. I thought to myself where does Ginuwine stand as far as the pantheon of "Panty Droppers"
This weekend, baseball welcomed six new members into their Hall of Fame, so in honor of that I will make my own inaugural class for the Panty Dropper Hall of Fame.
I will only cover the 90's and 00's because getting into the Luther Vandrosses and Teddy Pendergrasses will be too much and should go without saying as being Hall of Famers.
I will have five inductees as baseball had in 1939. Well, five solo artists and I'll have a couple groups as well. The criteria for enshrinement will be panty dropping ability of course, body of work, and staying power.
Panty dropping ability is the the power this artist had to make people want to dance vertically and without pants or any clothes on for that matter.
Body of work. The amount of music this artist had for his audience and its substance.
Staying power. Does the music still resonate today? Can it make people grind slow to it that have never heard it before?
I also have a few that just missed the cut. So let's start with them...
Honorable Mentions
Jon B
Jon B revolutionized the blue-eyed soul legacy carried on today by Robin Thicke and Justin Timberlake. Linking up with Babyface in the mid-nineties launched him into the forefront of the R&B scene. He left us with "Pretty Lady", "They Don't Know", and "Someone To Love". The problem with Jon B is that all of those came out around the same time, so it's like being the Juan Gonzalez of of this time period.
Babyface
Mentioned earlier with Jon B, but, Babyface does not make the cut also due to body of work. Although hits like "Two Occasions" and "Whip Appeal" add to his staying power, he left the performing side and instead wrote and produced countless hits. He'd be the Joe Torre of the class because Torre had a great playing career but will be remembered for his managerial career.
Case
This one hurts as well as the next person on this list. Case made some panty droppers, legit ones, but stopped making them. Check out "Missing You" and "Happily Ever After". Here's "Happily Ever After" with a young Beyonce as the main female in the video.
Donnell Jones
I said this one hurts too because every black dude from this time period ought to know "Where I Wanna Be" by heart, it's our birthright. "U Know What's Up" featuring the late Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopes is another hit. Even him singing the hook on the late Big Pun's "It's So Hard" is fire. Jones unfortunately lost steam and faded. He and Case have to be the Brandon Webbs of this list.
Musiq Soulchild
Musiq had you feel like he was someone that was going to remain, at worst, relevant to this day. His music had a message and would make great wedding songs or joints you'd give to your girl on a mixtape. I thought Soulchild would have the career of John Legend. Tim Lincecum is a good comparison.
A controversial omission because Chris Brown himself may make panties drop, I do not consider him a panty dropper. He did make a few droppers such as "With You" and "Don't Judge Me. Songs like "Take You Down" and "No Bullshit" are songs people bring up and you're like "Oh, yeah I forgot he did that". He's like the Andy Pettite or Mike Mussina of this list.
Now without further adieu, the inaugural class of the Panty Droppers Hall of Fame...
Usher
The headliner of this class is Usher Raymond and I know how to spell that because of his premiere piece "Nice & Slow". Once that dropped, his panty dropper Hall of Fame eligibility was not a matter of "if" but "when". Usher is an icon now but when it comes to the matter at hand, he is a persistent panty dropper for every album he makes there is a panty dropper.
My Way-Nice & Slow
8701-U Got It Bad
Confessions-Superstar, Can U Handle It, Confessions Part II, That's What It's Made For
Here I Stand -Trading Places, Love In This Club
Raymond v. Raymond-Hey Daddy, There Goes My Baby
Looking 4 Myself-Dive, Climax
And he has another album dropping later this year.
Ginuwine
The basis of this article. This man has a song that heavily implies banging in "Pony". "Pony" is still used in movies and TV for highly sexual scenes. In addition to that there are "So Anxious", "Differences", "Love You More", and "Stingy". As you can see Ginuwine has no MVP seasons but year in and year out puts together solid seasons. He hit all three of the requirements swimmingly.
Joe
Y'all must have forgotten about Joe but he surely makes the cut. With hits like "I Wanna Know", "All The Things", "More & More" as well as hooking up with G-Unit for "Wanna Get to Know You". Joe represents Pedro Martinez, although he had a few good seasons, those seasons were so great they are hard to overlook.
Trey Songz
Tremaine makes it because, sheesh, ask your girl about Trigga. "Just Gotta Make It" Trey Songz would not have made this list. He was like a young player that struggled early in his career but worked on his mechanics and turned himself into a Hall of Famer. Compare him to Randy Johnson. Johnson was average before he turned 30 but turned into a Hall of Famer after changing his approach. Trey Songz turned into a more fun-loving and sensual artist. He carried every dude's "party hard with boys yet be passionate with the ladies" attitude into his music. "Invented Sex", "Neighbors Know My Name", "Lovefaces", and others. Some may battle me on this but Trey Songz "Just Gotta Make It" into the Panty Dropper Hall of Fame.
Tyrese
Tyrese is an actor and started off as a model but between all of that he was a singer. You may say he hasn't done much lately in the music department, I guess you didn't hear "Best of Me", but he's a busy man these days. Tyrese made classics "Lately", "Sweet Lady", "How You Gonna Act Like That", "What Am I Gonna Do", and did you forget "The Signs of Lovemaking"? Tyrese more than makes the Hall of Fame, this dude is Ichiro Suzuki.
112
112 dominated the R&B group division from the late 90's and the early 2000's. They had competition from Dru Hill, Next, and Jagged Edge but held strong. "Cupid" is the song lovers bond over. "Anywhere" makes lovers bond all of the place. "U Already Know" was their 2011 Derek Jeter season, the last good one by an aging veteran.
Jodeci
Jodeci makes the list not only for their own work but the work KC & JoJo did on their own later on. "Come & Talk to Me" was the anthem for the shy guys. "Feenin" was for the "cuffed-up" dudes. "FreakNYou" was the joint for the lovemaking. There was also "Forever My Lady", "Stay", and "Cry For You" among others. KC & JoJo then went on the make an all timer in "All My Life". They also had "Tell Me It's Real", "Life", "Crazy", and "Don't Rush".
So there you are, The Inaugural Class of the Panty Dropper's Hall of Fame. If you disagree or feel there are some artisst that should be on here please let me know in the comments below.
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