Breaking Down the Myth of Men's Infatuation

Time and time again I hear women talk about how man are only interested in sex and we only think about sex.

That is somewhat true, there is obviously an initial attraction because after all a woman chooses a man and not the other way around.

I could talk to the next hundred women I find attractive and maybe get a number from twenty or so.

What I want to disprove is the idea that men only view women as sex objects...from the get go.

Women don't understand that we are much like animals. Us talking to you is part of our mating ritual. We are trying to find our mate when we approach you, talk to you, and get your number.

Here's another secret, guys actually talk you up to their friends. I can't even count the amount of times my friends or myself have talked about girl who we have just met as though she was the girl Jesus has been saving us for.

We'd talk about how she looks, where she works, what she's doing with her life.

Now you might be asking, where does that interest go?

Away. That's where it goes and it was probably your fault. As a matter of fact it was quite likely your fault.

I liken a man's infatuation with a certain female as if they were an NBA team with a top 5 pick. Not the #1 pick but a top 5 pick nonetheless.

The number 5 pick you at least expect to be very good, may not be your franchise player but will at the very least be good.

Men's infatuation with a certain woman maintains or declines as such:

Franchise Player: Dwyane Wade

Dwyane Wade was the fifth overall pick in 2003 by the Miami Heat out of Marquette. He was drafted behind Lebron, Melo, Chris Bosh, and somehow someway Darko "Playing in Serbia Right Now" Milicic. The Heat expected him to be a franchise point guard for years to come. He changed positions, won 3 NBA titles and played in 5 NBA Finals overall. He will go down as a top 5 shooting guard in NBA history behind MJ and Kobe.

Just about every girl we meet we to be that Dwyane Wade and far exceed expectations. This is the girl who you like to hang out with, light up when she texts you, and is basically your ride or die. Wade turned down a lot of money to remain in Miami, so he's pretty ride or die.

Most importantly she's into a lot of the stuff you're into. She love the teams you like, music you like, everything. I met this one girl who loved the Tom Green classic critical nightmare "Freddy Got Fingered" which was a movie I thought nobody liked but me. True story: my PS2 was my first DVD player and I bought the movie at Best Buy for $5 and watched it 40 times(I counted) in a span of 3 days. That girl was a keeper.

Star Player: Joakim Noah

Noah was a Knick pick that Isaiah Thomas traded away and nothing else to me. But, to everyone else he is the 2013-14 NBA Defensive Player of the Year and an intricate part of the Chicago Bulls throughout Derrick Rose's injury issues these past few years.

So this girl isn't the one you'd turn down tickets to a football game for but you will turn down a night out with your boys for. I had a friend turn down going out with us to go to Costco with a lady, so I guess it was pretty serious.

Starter: Danillo Gallinari

She is not the one you want but she's getting the job done. You talk about her good qualities. Gallo was tall and could shoot so you could talk yourself into thinking he was the next Dirk Nowitzki.

This girl is boring as hell but you know if you hit up her on Facebook she'll respond. She works at Footlocker so she can hold back a pair of those retro Jordans on Saturday so you keep her around.

Sixth Man: DJ Augustin

Just as DJ Augustin is always available somehow when your point guard is injured and you need depth, so is this broad. She's your sixth man, she's your microwave because she can heat up at any second.

But, you leave her out there too long she can become the detriment. Just like you can throw too much trust into your sixth man and leave him out there to yak up brick after brick, you can do the same with this girl.

She fits her purpose but feels as though she should be one of the three mentioned above and may try to force the situation. I had a friend have a sixth man girl force her way into being his star player and his team is still rebuilding to this day.

Role Player: Emeka Okafor

I picked Emeka Okafor for this spot because at some point he was all of these. This is the last valuable position.

He will text you from time to time especially when he is in a drought, not even a sex drought, like a "wow my phone is really dry, when's the last time I talked to a girl" drought. You've been broken down to a basic use, like a role player: we need threes, that's your role, we need to defend the paint, that's your role etc.

OUT OF THE LEAGUE: Darko Milicic

Would you look at that, number 2 overall. The best player in the league drafted ahead of you, NBA champions and a scoring champion drafted right behind you. What are you up to? Nothing. Nobody wants you.

This girl is so boring you ignore her texts whereas you used to at least acknowledge her with short messages to wet her beak. She has no sneaker hookups, phone hookups, food hookups or any hookups whatsoever.

So what is left? The sex, which for this girl, a lot is left to be desired. If the question is to hook up with her you tell yourself  that you've hooked up with worst but at the same time you've hooked up with much better. After careful evaluation, you ultimately pass.

So there you have it.

When we meet and flirt with women we have such high expectations for you until you give us reasons not too. At the same time I'm pretty sure it is the same for women when meeting men except women's expectations are way too high to begin with.

Things Black People Usually Don't Like That Suge Does

In a new weekly column here I've decided to end racism in baby steps. Even though in the past we've talked about racism a little on here and here.

So every week I will talk about three things that aren't popular with black people in general but quite popular with this black person.

1. Hockey

Well not all hockey. I'm not going to be watching random hockey games on the NHL Network. But, I am a huge New York Rangers fan. I've been following the team since the NHL returned back in 2005 from a season long lockout. I usually would only watch during the playoffs because playoff hockey is a million times more intense, maybe because there is no shootouts or ties. I started to watch regular season games coincidentally because of the NBA's lockout in 2011. That year the Rangers led the Eastern Conference in wins and points, we even made it to the Conference Final. Last season the team went all the way to the Stanley Cup Final on the backs of goaltender Henriq Lundqvist and eventual captain Ryan McDonough. They even have a rookie black dude on the team named Anthony Duclair who is highly regarded.

2.It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

I have a unique sense of humor in that I find ubiquitous humor, things make me laugh in the most random places. Good humor, corny humor, all humor. "Sunny" is a show about four people who own a bar along with the man who raised two of them. The auxiliary characters are unforgettable. The titles of the episodes are simple such as "The Gang Buys A Boat" yet the episode itself is far more complex. As soon as I finish season 10 on Netflix I will be writing a list of my ten favorite episodes. I actually started watching this show by way of me watching a movie on FX, leaving to take a shower then returning to find cable TV's best comedy and being hooked. I even dressed up as Charlie for Halloween last year.

3.Portlandia

Now this show took me by surprise because it seemed like something I would never watch. I was a fan of Fred Armison from his days on Saturday Night Live. He and Carrie Brownstein make one hell of a team. The sketches on the show are humorous satire on hipster culture and make you admire the unique weirdness that is Portland, Oregon. Watch one episode and if you don't laugh, I don't know what to tell you.

So til next time, here's a pic of me as Charlie.